Part of being a parent is feeling like a broken record. You feel like you are always repeating yourself when asking your children to do their homework, pick up their room, or even tell you about their day. Communication is key in any family, it keeps us connected into our children's lives and makes them feel connected with their parents. Communication is no easy task, especially if you are communicating with children who don't want to listen. If your child doesn't listen, hope is not lost, you just have to step back and reevaluate the situation and avoid making these mistakes.
Talking Too Much
Children often have a short attention span. Sometimes when a parent is communicating they tend to drag out the conversation, sometimes by repeating the same thing multiple times out of frustration. When we communicate with our emotions, we vent rather than explain. If a child is on the listening end of what seems to be a never ending rant, then they are going to tune you out. When talking with your children, keep it brief to be sure they are truly listening to what you are saying and not thinking of the latest episode of Peppa Pig they watched.
Not Listening To Them
While (most) adults have a better attention than children, being a parent can be time consuming and it is easy to get distracted. Children are a reflection of their parents, so if your child comes to talk to you while you are folding laundry or just trying to catch 15 minutes of The Bachelor, you may only be half listening to what they say. The child will assume you are too busy to listen and may cut of communication all together. They will also assume that since you don't have to listen to them when they speak, they don't have to listen to you when you speak.
Giving Multiple Warnings
It is no secret that children like to push boundaries to see what they can get away with. If they know you are going to nag at them or give them repeated warnings, they are going to keep pushing as they have no consequences. CASTLE Parent Educators see this type of behavior all the time when helping families and introduce 1,2,3 Magic into the home that avoids parents and children from falling into this pattern.
Communication isn't always easy, especially when there are families with mixed schedules, parents get very little time for themselves, and some families have multiple children and only one or two parents to talk to. CASTLE works with families to increase communication to strengthen the family bond and modify behavior.